The projection of nonverbal cues is a multifaceted topic. It varies with the observer's background, culture, gender, and age. The image a person portrays can often be far from who that person truly is. My nonverbal cues are just morsels of me, but are still worth examination.
I usually sit in the very front and center of a classroom. This is not an attempt to get in good with the professor or to make myself seem more driven than other students. Gaining knowledge amuses me. My seating selection is a nonverbal cue of interest in what is been taught. When a person goes to a boxing match they would always prefer to sit ringside, this is the same principal I apply to school. Also it allows me to block everyone out except the professor.
The way a person walks sends nonverbal cues that can be interrupted many ways. I walk with my head up looking around taking in my environment. The nonverbal cues in the way I walk are awareness yet comfort in my surroundings. My way of walking does not change weather I'm walking down Crenshaw Boulevard in, Baldwin Hills or Rodeo Drive, in Beverly Hills
The most interesting nonverbal cues are facial expression. A person is often unaware of their facial expression, so it gives you a more honest cue. I usually have a squinted-eye look of inspection. I want to have ample knowledge of everything I come in contact with. My facial expression signals my curiosity and a need for understanding.
In addition I am consumed with introspection. I think about how I am affecting everything I come in contact with. How does a person perceive me? What am I doing to help people? Am I setting a good example for my family and young black men without father figures? These and many other questions cross my mind, as I sit wide-eyed staring off into space.
Style of dress is the most fickle nonverbal cue. It is the cliché of judging a book by its cover. My style of dress hints at many things from day to day. Thursday's I usually wear sweats or basketball shorts. It is my last day of class for the week. I just throw on some clothes I do not have to iron and go. On a Saturday if I'm going to hang out with friends I may wear creased jeans and a button down shirt. This style is still comfortable, but also dressed to look nice.
Nonverbal cue are useful, but can be very subjective. If you are interested in whom a person is you should go up to them and start a conversation. When we allow nonverbal cues to dominate our perception of a person we create a mental description that may not be true. How a person walks, talks, and looks should not be speculated on to the extent of dislike or fear. Heavy dependence on nonverbal cues is the seed of prejudice.
Wasn't this an interesting prompt to write to? I thought it was fun to explain what i do and why I do it. I love to learn, too, but unlike you, I tend to sit off to one side of the classroom, maybe a row or so back from the front. I don't like sitting near the front, because I hate being used as an example, like teachers are prone to do with the front and center students.
ReplyDeleteYou do a good job explaining your different habits that you have and why you have them. I like that that you are concerned with the image you present and that you wish to present a good image. Everyone is concerned with presenting an image, whether it is gangster, emo, hipster, or any other look that they want, but many aren't concerned with how they present themselves to an employer or such. Or how in your case, you wish to be a good example for other fatherless young men, and for you family.
It's also interesting how you view nonverbal cues. We rely so heavily on them, but it's true that they can cause prejudice. I think the reason we even allow ourselves to create that image without even speaking to the person is laziness. We may just not feel like trying to be friendly, or we may feel afraid of being judged by the person, so we just judge them instead.
You are totally right about not judging people on their appearance. I have often been subjected to stereotypical assumptions. Its really sucks for me because I look very girly and young. I am Salvadorian but I don't look it. My people's common look is to be olive to brown skin and not too tall. I, on the other hand, am tall and pale for a Salvadorian. The really bad part is that when I went to El Salvador, they knew I was a foreigner not because of the way I looked but by the way I walked. Most of the women in my mother's country have these weird nonverbal cues that suggest they live in a male dominated society. It really is the way they walk. I walk like you; I also have a very confident walk. Over there, they are slightly stooped and don't meet your eyes too often. I know I got off track but there is so much to say on this subject.
ReplyDeleteBut here in the U.S., I get stereotyped by the way I look from my own Hispanic people. I go to Vallarta and they talk to me in English. I know it doesn;t sound like a big deal but it is to me. They talk to me in English because of the nonverbal cues my clothes give off. I wear "white people" clothes and that's why they talk to me in english. Everyone has an idea of what Hispanic "cues" are and they stick to it no matter what. I think if you want t understand someone you should start a conversation just like you suggested. You made an awesome point.
I only what you mean about sitting in the front of the class to show you are driven. I sit in the front of the class when I think the class going to hard or if like the subject. I feel the same way, sitting close allow you to force more. I walk with my head high but I am only a little confident and I don’t like looking around. I look straight the whole time to avoid eye contact with others. I used to think that I was always squinting to see what was going, maybe I do. But everyone tells me that I look mean and my eye are piercing. I know I am not understanding about people I don’t know and my facial expressions say it. That’s nice that you feel comfortable in a button down shirt, no boys I knew would feel comfortable. I feel that everyone is dependent on nonverbal too. I know I am and most people I know are but some just don’t get the nonverbal a person send outs. I feel as Americans we are all made by society to prejudge. I used to think that I was the only one who thought that.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that people should not assume who a person is or how they act by how they dress/look. In our society, we assume that since someone dresses in designer clothes and buys designer goods they are well off. This is not the case half of the time because our society relies heavily on credit cards. I know someone who wears designers everything and has six credit cards. He is very depressed right now because all of his SSI monthly money goes to paying off the thousands of debt he has amassed. He can’t even afford to help my sister buy a carton of milk (they room together at university). It also doesn’t help that his priorities are screwed up since he will go out and buy cigarettes.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how many people support their lifestyle on credit cards. This has become such a common thing in this country that I no longer assume a person has lots of money. Even people with millions can be in debt for thousands (or millions in the case of Michael Jackson).
On the topic of walking, I usually look around like you. I do, however, will occasionally look down because I don’t want to step in something. Sometimes I find money. Heh
Also, since I am really tall I can cover more ground when I walk. People think I am speed walking when in fact I am just walking normally. I am not sure what kind of nonverbal cue that sends to people.
I also am one who likes to sit toward the front of class. I don’t did it so that I can get in with the professor, but for me to pay attention, I find it easier to focus the closer I sit to the professor. I know that it makes me look like I am trying to brown nose the teacher, but I am most certainly not, I just grasp the information better if near the front.
ReplyDeleteI notice that a lot of individuals are being very critical about the projections they give out to others. I find that many people seem very uncomfortable when they decide to talk about something like this. I believe it is because of the belief that our outer self will override the inner self we all want to get out. Sometimes this is true; some people just won’t talk to us because of the way we look. I find those people lose out on some great relationships because of their close-mindedness.
Your methods in this article have a good flow to them. I really like how you go into the fact that even our style of clothes gives out a nonverbal clue about who we are as individuals. I know that to some this is an obvious statement, but even for those who dress “average” we many still be sending out ideas that we don’t even mean to.